Today’s instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series comes from an anonymous contributor. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown! 

It’s a cliché, but we sleepwalked into this. In the first half of March, I did lots of ‘normal’ things: a weekend away, a night out, visits to the gym, work as usual. All these things now seem bonkers.

And then everything happened so quickly: on the evening of Monday 16 March, the head of the company for which I work emailed us all to insist that everyone who could, should work from home from the following day. My office mates and I went in the following day to collect what we needed (I am not ashamed to say that I stocked up on wine on the way) and now we’ve been working from home full-time since 18 March.

Working from home  is something I have never done before, by choice. I live alone; I get plenty of quiet time so actively enjoy going into work and the joys of office banter.

I live in Canton, very close to Victoria Park. I am lucky enough to have my own house with a small garden out the back. All those weekends in the last few years that I have spent up a ladder painting ceilings and walls felt worth it at the time, but my goodness am I reaping the rewards of my toils now! I absolutely love my house. My dining room has become my workspace, complete with the pot plants from the office (getting them home was no mean feat). So no desk sharing or video meetings in the bedroom for me.

The first couple of weeks of WFH were hard: I got distracted and felt that I was getting little done. But I have developed a nice routine that I quite enjoy: exercise (often a jog around Vic Park), shower, breakfast, check emails, daily team video call with colleagues, then normal working hours. Without my commute home, often up to an hour on a smelly bus (yep, it can take that long to get home from town at 5.30pm on a weekday), the evenings do seem long: I am ‘home’ at least an hour and a half earlier than I generally used to be.

Living alone for a long time, I have perfected the art of pottering and entertaining myself, so the long evenings have been okay. But living alone during lockdown is…. pretty tough.

I am in good health and my income has not been affected (although I work in a sector that will be hit very hard by the effects of the pandemic, so I am not counting my chickens). I am grateful that my family and friends are safe and well and I feel for the people living alone in poor health, with children or a sick or frail relative, or living with an abusive partner. I’m in a position to be able to donate to charities and have given to Age UK, Refuge and Foodbank in recent weeks and urge you to do the same if you are able.

But being a single thirty-something woman living in a small city is tough at the best of times so lockdown living and the likelihood of months or years of social distancing does offer some ‘interesting’ perspectives on my situation!

I now spend more time talking to friends and family, making use of all the wonderful free technologies we have available to us (and if you are listening in on my calls with my mum, Vladbot, you will be sorely disappointed. We will never reveal where we hid the diamonds). Whilst I would certainly not define myself as vulnerable or in need, I really appreciate the friends and colleagues who have acknowledged that I am alone and increased frequency of texts and calls (you know who you are!!).

It is pretty solitary living alone right now and, although I had already reconciled myself to the fact that meeting a suitable man belongs in the realms of unicorns and flying pigs, it is sobering to think that options for those of us alone are going to be pretty much zero for months, if not years, to come. A friend suggested that I try the dating apps again and join the trend for Zoom dating, but that doesn’t really enthuse me. In order to get a feel for someone, I need to talk to them in person. There is no substitute for face to face contact.

I haven’t had any physical contact with another person since, I think, receiving a hug from a friend’s child on 14 March. That is a long time. It’s scientifically recognised that humans suffer for lack of contact with others (look up ‘skin hunger’). I’m fine for now, but the uncertainty of not knowing when I might next get a hug is not great.

My advice for anyone reading this who has a friend, colleague or family member who lives alone, even if in good health and no financial concerns, is to show you are aware that they are alone and ask them directly how it is. You can’t change their situation but showing you care means an awful lot.

What have I learned from this experience? There are too many things to list, but they include:

• the real value of small pleasures (repotting a house plant, drinking a coffee sat in the sun on my little patio)
• that working from home, for my kind of role at least, can be done without too many difficulties or video call gaffs. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be
• judging by how often I have to dust and vacuum, that I shed approximately ten thousand hairs and two kilos of skin a day
• huevos rotos (my bastardised version of) is one of the best things ever if you fancy some comfort eating: chips or fried potatoes topped with fried onion, peppers, chorizo or serrano ham, and egg. Send our Spanish friends mad and top it with a bit of grated cheddar (btw, I love Spain, having lived there twice, and can’t wait to go out there again…).

When not shedding hairs or cooking/eating/drinking wine, I have inevitably spent a lot of time outside working hours reading and watching TV. I so enjoyed ‘Falling for a Killer: Ted Bundy’ on Prime that I am now listening to true crime podcasts. I registered to be a volunteer with Cardiff Council but, hearteningly, so many people have signed up that we may not all be needed. I’ve been trying to do what I can in other ways: staying in (of course), shopping for a friend isolating at home when her kids had bad coughs, and clapping one Thursday evening. On the subject of which, I feel the need to say (and sorry not sorry for making this political) that clapping should distract no one from the fact that THE NHS IS NOT A CHARITY. Nope. Key services, in the NHS and beyond, need proper investment by government, long-term. Foodbanks and charities cannot and should not have to fill the voids.

Rant over!

So, what do I miss apart from the office banter? Tragic as this may be, I miss the gym. I have been doing the best I can at home with some small dumbells and a couple of resistance bands.

I have been very disciplined in doing 30-60 minutes of exercise pretty much every day. I miss it the days I don’t do it. A colleague made a comment that I was being a bit of a goody two shoes in doing this and putting everyone else to shame. But, from my point of view, he’s cuddled up at home with his cherished spouse and I am, well, not. We all have our cross to bear and we all have our own ways of managing. I also miss going out with friends, enjoying the lovely restaurants and bars that our home city has to offer. I really hope that as many as possible can survive this. Most of all, and like lots of people, I think I miss the ability to make plans, even if just a spontaneous trip over to a friend’s for coffee.

Anyway, I’m not putting pressure on myself to achieve a load of lockdown achievements. We all need to be kind to ourselves and others. It’s a sunny Saturday morning, so I am going to go and read my book in the sunshine for a while. Looks after yourselves lovely people of Cardiff!

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch

Today’s instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series comes from Splott resident Tamsin Stirling. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown! 

To say that I have lost track of time is not quite true. I do find it difficult to remember what day it is a lot of the time, but I am also acutely aware of the passing of time.

Each day at two o’clock, the information on new cases and new deaths is published. Every afternoon I look at it – the researcher in me I guess – and try to process what it means. A flattening curve is good right? But how can it be considered ‘good’ when so many people have died, so many others are struggling for their lives and yet others are not safe at work because they do not have adequate PPE?

We are super lucky. We live in a house with a garden, are both able to work from home, still have money coming in, are able to pay bills, buy the food we need and able to go out once a day because neither of us have any ‘pre-existing conditions’ – how I hate that term.

So many people in the community have no escape; families in flats, people who can’t go out at all, people living in overcrowded situations, in shared accommodation, in violent and abusive relationships, people who have frontline jobs who have to go to work every day, people who have lost their jobs – the list goes on.

Yes COVID-19 is affecting everyone, but it is absolutely not affecting everyone in the same way or to the same extent. And this is very very obvious in our community.

For me, lockdown has been characterised by two big things. Firstly walks with my camera. I have been exploring my immediate neighbourhood in a very detailed way. Luckily for me, it includes the shoreline – Splott beach, the foreshore and wetlands. The tidal range is so high that there can be no shoreline at all or seemingly miles before the edge of the water. I have found new bits and rediscovered bits I already knew.

I have seen the steelworks from many different angles, seen species of bird that I had not seen before and searched for, and catalogued, different types of brick on Splott beach. I have also taken a lot of photographs which act as a kind of visual lockdown diary. Taking photos is a kind of meditation for me; it helps me to slow down and look really carefully. I have taken more photos since lockdown than in the last six months.

The second thing is connection. With family, community and friends. As my cousin in Canada said, we are being more intentional in making contact with people we care about. Checking in, sharing experiences, worries and humour – lots of humour. Like so many people, I have become familiar with Microsoft Teams, Zoom & WhatsApp video calls for work meetings, but also for social contact. And in the community, a mutual aid group has developed, now with over 1000 members on Facebook.

People sharing information, ideas, queries and things – plants, paint, furniture – all sorts of stuff. I have ‘met’ neighbours for the first time even though I’ve lived in the same house for over 20 years. On the street, more people say hello and ask ‘are you ok?’

On Twitter the other day, I was tagged by someone saying describe your COVID-19 journey in six words. My six words were walks, insomnia, worry, friends, community, WhatsApp.

Tamsin, Splott, 28 April 2020

Follow Tamsin on Twitter @TamsinStirling1. 

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch

Today’s instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series comes from Rosie Dent, who runs the @pontcanape food Instagram. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown! 

I live in Pontcanna with my partner Dean and my best friend, Buddy the cat. I would definitely find this situation much harder without them (I promise that’ll be the only cheesy sentiment in this letter, probably). It’s impossible to get bored or lonely with Buddy around, he’s a cheeky little ball of energy and acts as an effective alarm clock too!

We actually began our new life indoors almost two weeks before most people, we were both unwell with COVID-19 symptoms so had to fully isolate for over a week because our fever didn’t shift. We had one day, well until 5pm, of “freedom” before that incredibly surreal moment the PM told us we must stay indoors. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment.

If I’m honest, I’ve not found the lockdown as difficult as I would have imagined. I’m taking in the news, but am struggling to process the scale of what’s happening in Cardiff, Wales and the world right now – how can you? When it comes to my little bubble, I’m enjoying this pace of life one day at a time and I’m enjoying taking some time with less pressure to be busy. Although there have been moments! 

I feel extremely fortunate when it comes to work. I work in the public sector in a communications role. We help communities across Wales by supporting the third sector. It’s a challenging time, but there are some incredible things happening out there, people really are stepping up to support each other more than ever. It’s humbling.

I can easily work from home and am still able to work efficiently and effectively. As a team we work and live across Wales anyway, so we’re used to working remotely. We’ve found that we’re actually talking to each other more now, which is fantastic. I work from home regularly during normal times, but now I’ve levelled-up my set up on the kitchen table – right next to the fridge…perfect!

Just before lockdown we were renovating our garden. We still don’t have proper outdoor furniture and the raised beds are empty, but the fence and decking were thankfully finished. We’ve gone from a small patch of mud and weeds to a nice calming outdoor space to relax. It’s also helped to keep me busy, giving more space for pots to grow veggies! I’m in my second year growing and I’ve ended up with far too many jalapeoño and courgette plants – I would usually give them away, but it’s a little more difficult now. 

My vice during this time has been cooking.

I love to cook and have become a little obsessed with food over the past few years. I’ve been cooking relentlessly since lockdown began, thinking about starting to make the next meal as soon as I finish one! I’ve been ordering veg boxes from Kemi’s which has made cooking even more enjoyable. I order them for a Friday and it’s like a game of Ready Steady Cook deciding how to use all the goodies! 

I’m really pleased to see more people buying local and appreciating the amazing small businesses we have in Cardiff.

Personally alongside the Kemi’s boxes I’ve ordered some beautiful coffee from Hard Lines in Canton, loads of beer from Pipes, plant based pies from Saveg, picked up some bread from Alex Gooch and of course, stocked up on Oatly barista from Little Man Coffee (such a bargain for any fellow Oatly addicts out there).

The extra time has allowed me to get into making food that takes a little more patience and time than I tend to have. I’ve made a couple of batches of kimchi, made my first corn tortillas and I’ve started bigtime on my sourdough game. I’m hoping to keep the freshly baked sourdough breakfast on a Saturday morning routine going long after this ends. 

I’m feeling healthier than usual, I think it’s thanks to adding a lot more veg to my diet and more of what I’m eating is made from scratch. I’m also more aware of the waste produced in the kitchen and have upped my game when it comes to reducing waste by saving veg scraps to make stock and I’ve started regrowing veg from scratch, starting with lettuce, it’s honestly so easy.

I do miss eating out. I miss grabbing a Lazy Leek burger at Kings Road Yard, I miss “pizza club” – where we catch up with friends at a different Italian/pizza place, doing it on Skype isn’t quite the same.

I miss digging into small plates at places like Nook or Bar 44. This hiatus is temporary, but in the meantime I’ve been trying to recreate the restaurant experience at home. I’ve been doing some copycat meals from some well known chains starting with Wahaca, Wagamama and YO! Sushi. I’ve been sharing these on my Instagram @pontcanape in the hope of inspiring others to get creative in the kitchen. 

Instagram has helped me during this time. Generally too much time on social media isn’t a great thing for me, but at the moment feels like time well spent, engaging with other like minded people, getting ideas for things to do and make and passing on my own ideas and trying to inspire others. 

One thing that has really helped me during moments where I’m feeling restless or fed up was the quote “You’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home.”. I usually dislike inspirational or motivational quotes, but this one has really stuck with me and gives me the reality check I sometimes need!

For anyone struggling, remember this is temporary. Do whatever you need to do. Cooking is helping me, but if you can’t be bothered, that’s fine, if you want to sit and do nothing, that’s fine, if you want to work out all day, that’s fine. Do what makes you happy, keeps you sane and most importantly, stay safe and healthy. One day at a time.

Rosie works in the public sector and runs a Cardiff plant-based food Instagram account – @pontcanape.

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch

Today’s instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series comes from Steve Austins, co-founder and director of Bengo Media. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown! 

We run Bengo Media from home anyway, so the work situation hasn’t changed a huge amount – although my use of video calls has skyrocketed. Thankfully the month has been busy and we’ve even picked up some new clients. The biggest challenge has been the need to record all our podcasts remotely and we’ve now created a series of new products to help clients record from home. All of this with a new baby in the house!

The hardest thing about the lockdown is not being near our mums. Both live on their own, outside of Cardiff. They do have friends looking after their shopping etc, but the thought of how lonely this must be for them is heartbreaking. And, of course, neither of them will be able to meet little Jessie for a while either.

We are doing regular video calls with the family on WhatsApp. Teaching our mums how was the second hardest thing about the lockdown BUT it was so worth the effort.

I miss the little things most. Falling short of my Parkrun PB by miles; catching up with friends and talking about nothing in particular; going to the corner shop to pick up something my waistline won’t thank me for. Oh, and I miss coffee shops.

However, we’re blessed to have such great neighbours. We’ve had shopping done for us, meals delivered to our door and a birthday cake baked for Marina. Ours is one of the smallest streets in Grangetown and this crisis has brought us closer together as a street. Long may that continue.

All in all, I’m a fairly happy homebird – learning how to be a family of three has been an amazing experience. And, when she’s old enough. I can’t wait to tell Jessie all about being a lockdown baby

Bengo Media give voice to your podcast vision. Follow Steve on Twitter @SteveAustins76. 

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch

This instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series is from Ceri John Davies. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown!

Lockdown in CF24

Lockdown 2020 sounds like some Hollywood film that maybe went straight to video, but the reality is a gruelling real-life drama, where many are fighting the COVID-19 virus, both personally and professionally. The heroes of the film are our health workers and essential service providers.

In such trying times, when so many are battling so hard, it’s a hard issue to contemplate, but lockdown for me has so far been a positive experience. A change in lifestyle to a quieter and slower pace suits me far more than what went before. I have long been aware of my preferences and in recent years have been lucky enough to make lifestyle changes to create a better work life balance; lockdown has taken it to the next level.

I work at a desk with a laptop, and my employer has long been pushing a smarter ways of working approach. I have been a fully mobile worker from day one. Pre lockdown I took advantage of this mobility, working at home, cafes, co-working sites and at my parents’ home in Mid Wales. I must confess it has probably been easier for me to adapt to lockdown that many.

I am a long-time homeworker, one-time provider of co-working spaces and campaigner for this type of work (this is an article I wrote on the subject – Working for a better Future) – so was probably well ahead of the game. I was not only a believer but worked to convert others to the benefits of home working and remote working.

Modern tech if you have it, allows a completely different way of working. For me and my colleagues, Microsoft Teams was already embedded in every meeting pre lockdown and is widely used by colleagues across the board, including for regular social catch ups and a weekly quiz. If anything, I speak to some colleagues more now than when I was a few desks away.

Some irony here … as I am writing this article offline as currently the Wi-Fi has gone down, and we await with interest what our provider can do! It’s not the first time this lockdown and probably won’t be the last. The future, whatever it may be in Wales will need to be tech enabled and reliable, that super-fast broadband promise would be a welcome delivery.

So work is fine, when possible, the biggest change has been having my ten-year-old and seven-year-old at home at the same time. Home-schooling would be a doddle right? Not so much!

Our children go to an amazing Welsh language primary who provide daily work for both children. My eldest is probably pretty self-contained, she gets the work and she does it – maybe with a little help from mum and dad, and frankly my ability to show her long multiplication will be a highlight of the year! He has still got it!

My youngest – less so. Getting the motivation, be it for the Joe Wicks morning PE which we all started with (but only two in the house have really continued with) has been our biggest challenge. More often than I would have liked, the teaching of the seven-year-old has quickly descended into an “inset” day. With two parents working from home and often the need for one-to-one instruction, motivation, and supervision, it has been the most difficult aspect of our changed circumstances.

Their school has been great, but we have also added in a lot of teaching of our own. The children have been allowed to home cook a lot more (I’m getting a little fed up of cake, truth be told!). The paints have been out more regularly, and I like a home science experiment, so we have been doing and videoing quite a few of those. We are making a cloud in a jar this afternoon!

Tech has enabled us to do a lot of things that they wouldn’t have been able to do. Guides is online weekly, and Brownies starts this week. My admiration for the volunteers knows no bounds for the efforts they go to. We persevered with piano lessons for a few weeks via the online option, but frankly they weren’t working for anyone, teacher, child or parent so we have had to pull them, but we are continuing to pay our tutor and banking the lessons for when lockdown eases.

My children were pretty digital au fait before the lockdown but the 10-year-old has benefited most as she was gifted an old phone early on to stay in touch with her friends, which the seven-year-old still doesn’t have. She has taken to the tech a little too well and a little too fast for my liking! They both get to Facetime friends at playtime, but we have also tried to go back to the future and have written letters and cards to friends and family near and far.

Outside, school and work it’s been a welcome quieter time.

I defy anyone to say that less traffic, less noise, less pollution is not a welcome change to Cardiff.

Despite only one excursion a day, we have enjoyed these times out of the house. Often by bike we have been fortunate enough to explore the grand parks that surround CF24; Bute, Roath, Heath, and the secrets they have. We have ventured a little further afield within the guidelines and the peace on the roads makes our great city fabulous to cycle around, exploring places with a seven-year-old I wouldn’t normally try by road. We have gone as far as the Bay, Llanishen Park and Forest Farm for our daily exercise.

The weather has helped no end and we are fortunate to have a small garden that we have spent time in enjoying the weather. It’s never had so much care given to it, nor our garage which has been painted and cleaned out, jobs that have been on the ‘to do’ list for upwards of ten years.

We have even managed the odd camping trip to our small lawn, complete with enough bedding to make Sherpa Tensing weep. The veg patch is in and growing fast and we have also embraced the newly launched CF24 Sunflower Competition.

The weather and the garden mean that we have BBQ’d and eaten many meals outside. In fact, I’d say we are eating together more as a family or as a couple. Lunch with my wife is now a regular event, not once in a blue moon. Turns out she’s a lovely woman. Why do we eat together more now? You would think we would perhaps want more space from each other, but so far that’s not the case. It’s not just eating together, we always did play family games, but we are playing more, although Monopoly may well not survive lockdown, but a demand for a regular games night is on the cards.

We have missed family and friends, but we are regularly talking to all those we can phone, and my daughter with her new phone has mastered WhatsApp video – who knows how many times she calls her Mid Wales based nan and grandad. Several a day I am told! Through Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp it is easy to see what everyone else is doing and managing, and through Zoom I even stay in touch with the Thursday night football boys and an incredibly competitive weekly sports quiz.

In normal circumstances, I’m usually filling my downtime with planning what to do,  normally it’s away from home, exploring something, or somewhere, visiting friends and family. Being at home so much is unusual. However, with everything I have described, it has really clicked for us.

In all honesty I have not enjoyed Cardiff this much since my time in University all those years ago.

Lockdown for many is terrible, we can’t escape that, and I’m clearly glossing over the arguments and tantrums that we have endured in my house.

My thoughts are regularly drawn to those really impacted by this virus, those fighting it, those including many friends on the care frontline who we worry for daily.

It is without doubt a terrible time, but I do hope that some of the benefits that we have and see around us are not lost as the world tries to return to normal. That normal was not that great, and I want us to plan the normal we want to return to. I am sure we as a family will have some changes for the better, I just hope wider society will as well.

Follow Ceri on Twitter @ceritheviking.

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch

Today’s instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series comes from Hannah who is Global Director of External Affairs for United Purpose. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown! 

I live in Riverside.  On match days I can hear the roar of the crowd, can feel the carnival atmosphere running through the streets and almost taste the beer swilling.  There’s a castle on my door step, an ale house on every corner and on bin day it stinks. It’s the funnest, kindest place I’ve ever lived. I bloomin’ loves Cardiff.

The onslaught of the virus over February and March felt like a slow motion tsunami.  We could see it coming, we all saw the pictures from Italy, but the surreal-ness meant it was all deniable. I remember when the death toll went to double digits – to 22 – I felt sick.  What would the me back then think about a toll closer to 30,000.  I’m glad she had no idea what was to come.

I’ve been working from home for a while now. I’m on the exec team of United Purpose, an international development charity head quartered in Cardiff.

We work with very poor communities in Africa, Asia and South America – helping them get out of, and stay out of, poverty.  The type of poverty that is absolute.  Where people don’t have access to clean water so babies regularly die of dysentery; where people don’t have enough food so stunting is a common; where people don’t have their own home, or even their own country.

We support refugee camps, we build water wells and show communities how to maintain them. We teach women skills so they can earn their own livelihood and send their children to school. We help small holder farmers understand changing weather patterns so their crops can be more resilient to climate change.  We’ll also teach them business skills and co-operative models so they can get better prices at market. And now COVID-19 has hit, we’ve pivoted to an emergency response, providing communities with extra clean water, sharing hygiene messages and equipping rural healthcare centres with PPE.

I run our global external affairs work, and now I’m doing all this from my husband’s office, overlooking my neighbour’s delightful garden. And while I sit and stare out at the trees, admiring how fast the Dragon Heart hospital has been developed with the bed capacity of 2,000, it’s hard not to dwell on the challenges faced by the poorest communities. Malawi with a population of over 18 million is looking at how to cope with only 17 ventilators and 25 ICU beds for the entire population. It’s one of the poorest countries in the world – not everyone has access to clean water, most don’t have formal healthcare, a third of the population is stunted due to lack of calories in infancy, and one in ten has HIV/AIDS. This, coupled with the unpredictable nature of the virus, means the situation is grave.  It’s a similar pattern in other poor countries.

The need is great, the crisis is acute and there is so much to be done. It’s a worry in a time of worries.

I worry for my 550 colleagues across the world too.  The finest bunch of dedicated professionals I’ve ever met – they do the real hard work.  We gave the option of evacuation to those staff who ordinarily live in the UK.  They had to choose where to see through the pandemic – to risk staying where they were, or to risk the long journey home. Some stayed, some came home.  But the vast majority of our staff are from the countries they work in e.g. Gambians in The Gambia.  They have no choice to leave; they are home. And that home generally won’t be equipped to deal with this pandemic. A low point for me this month was updating our death in service policy to factor in a global health pandemic.

But there have been some lighter moments.  I have been working with a Nigerian super star, Sunny Neji to develop a song about hand washing and social distancing.  Songs via radio are by far the best way to reach rural, illiterate sub-Saharan communities.  It’s so catchy the children are singing it and their parents are taking on the serious message.  It’s gone viral in Nigeria and the piece of work has really made me smile.

But I have a confession. While the enormity of all this can weigh heavy, it simply does not stop me mourning my own life being put on hold. I have all the water and food I need, and I nice house with a lovely view from the office. And if I get seriously sick, which I probably won’t, there’s the Dragon Heart hospital. I’m so fortunate. And yet the self-pity waves over me. I’ve seen the absolute poverty with my own eyes, I know how lucky I am.

But all I want is to see my mum and Dad and have a pint of ale in Crafty Devil, Canton with my pals. Enjoy the summer festival of this amazing city has to offer and generally have a reason to brush my hair.

So I’ll stay in this little office, constantly reminding myself I’m not simply working from home, but working from home in a global pandemic; and it’s ok to want my life back.

Hannah is Global Director of External Affairs for United Purpose, a Cardiff based international development charity that works with three million of the world’s poorest people in Malawi, Mozambique, Ghana, The Gambia, Senegal, Nigeria, Cameroon, Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya, Guinea, South Africa, India, Bangladesh and Brazil.   Hannah is from Neath and has lived in Cardiff for seven years. Follow her on Twitter @hannahpudner. 

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

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This instalment of Letters from Cardiff in lockdown is from a person who’s very special to us, and has chosen to share their lockdown experience. If their story hits home with you, there are people that can help.

Lockdown liberation – a complete contradiction in terms, right? No. Apparently not. At least not for me.

Nine years ago I got married. The usual fairytale stuff – or so I thought. Like so many relationships, the outer perception was far brighter than the inner reality. What appeared happy, loving and ’successful’ was unhealthy, coercive, and lonely. Really lonely.

I lived life on pins for 18 months, lying to those closest to me. If the truth be told, I was lying to myself too. The delusional “it will all be fine if I work hard enough to help him change“. The crippling “why was I too stupid not to have seen this earlier?”. The poisonous “it’s probably my fault anyway”.

But one day something happened. I don’t really know what exactly. I just broke. I broke and I left it all behind. I had £20 to my name, packed a rucksack I still had from school, and went home to my Mam and Dad. And then I cried. I cried for my 20s; I cried for the home I thought I’d created here in Cardiff; and I cried for the family I’d hoped he and I would create and raise together.

Seven years on, in these strange lockdown times, I’m still on my own. Turns out that the bit of me that deals with anything beyond platonic relationships has proved to be stubbornly unfixable. The thought of a relationship is petrifying – what if I pick another bad egg? What if, despite repeated attempts by friends, family and therapy to convince me otherwise, it turns out that he was right, and I was the disaster after all?

It’s paralysed any attempts to move on in THAT domain for years. Any glimmer of interest striking the fear of God into me, followed swiftly by a “well I’m not going to do anything about that because imagine the utter shame of showing an interest in someone only to find them avoiding you like the plague once they work it out”.

But then lockdown arrived. And everyone is quite literally avoiding each other like the plague. And there’s time to talk to people, to let things grow. To avoid the crippling horror that overcomes you when you imagine bumping into someone the day after you may have suggested the most tentative of interests in getting to know them a little better; or worse still, imagining having to explain the sorry story of a pretty abusive relationship in person at some point.

And guess what? Lockdown has been liberating. It’s freed me to show the most tentative of interests. To strike up a conversation I’ve been too petrified to even contemplate in Real Life, on The Outside. And I’ve felt excited at the prospect of WhatsApp pinging, in a way that I thought had died long ago when the apparently unfixable bit got broken.

So yes, lockdown is almost entirely grim. It’s succeeding in exposing all the gaps I’d tried to fill with other people and other things, and has made life resemble a bit of a leaky colander for the time being.

But leaky colanders let mucky water escape, and while I feel a bit ridiculous admitting that it’s taken a global pandemic for it to happen, it’s probably about time for the mucky water to be flushed out.

*

Live Fear Free can provide help and advice to:

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Call: 0808 80 10 800

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Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

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This instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series is from Lee Eynon. Lee runs Fuud blog – an “occasionally entertaining blog about stuffing your face in Cardiff. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown!

A few weeks ago, when all this started, I had the same conversation with several people. It was never said out loud, always confined to the shadows of the DMs and WhatsApp groups of my most trusted friends.

“I know this is terrible” it would begin, “but I’m, sort of… quite enjoying lockdown.”

There’d be a bone-chilling guilty silence as the other party began typing, then the response would come: “Er, yeah me too, actually.”

Before the pitchforks and flaming torches come out, let me back up a little bit. I fully acknowledge that I went into lockdown in a ridiculously privileged position compared to many people. My job can be done fairly easily from home (frankly the fact that I have a job and a home right now is privilege enough), I don’t have kids to educate or keep entertained, and big ‘Rona is yet to pay me or my family a visit.

But I can’t deny that in many respects, the restriction on movement has been good for me.

I’m exercising more, I’m sleeping better, and I get to hang out with my wonderful other half and our idiot cat every day.

I’ve started to actively enjoy the structure that work brings, and I feel like I’m doing better at my job than I have in months. I’m even ringing my parents more often.

And then there’s the cooking.

All this time to practice plus the challenge of coming up with a weekly meal plan based on whatever we can get our hands on has forced me to experiment and learn so much more.

It doesn’t always work out well; last week’s leek and potato gratin ended up as more of a soup with a roof, and it turns out you don’t see parsnip mash very often because the texture is a bit like custard with bits of string floating in it.

But for every misstep, there’s been a little victory; my Korean Fried Tofu game has come on leaps and bounds, as have my fish tacos. My huevos rancheros are up there with the best I’ve had, and I don’t want to get into a banana bread measuring contest here, but mine is absolutely on point right now.

This is not to say I’ve not had bad days. There have been more than a few sleepless nights worrying about my parents. Mornings stressing about having to go shopping, and whether I’ll be able to pick up what we need without being coughed on.

Overall though, I have to admit, with no small measure of guilt, that I’ve been kind of ok with lockdown. Or at least that’s what I thought until yesterday.

Our friends Phil and Andy were passing, so they decided to drop off a pot plant they’d been meaning to give us for ages. I wasn’t prepared for how I’d feel when I opened the door and saw them standing there, two-socially-distant-metres away in the middle of the street.

Like most people I’ve been keeping in touch with friends on Zoom – chatting a few times a week, doing pub quizzes etc – but actually seeing a mate at the door in person blew my mind.

We spoke for less than five minutes, but the physical rush of seeing familiar faces – other humans that didn’t have to be considered an obstacle, or a threat in some way – was just incredible.

After they’d left I was grinning so hard my cheeks hurt. I really, really want to feel that again. I hope we all can soon.

Follow Lee on the FuudBlog website, Twitter @FuudBlog, and on Instagram @fuudblog.

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

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This instalment for the Letters from Cardiff in lockdown series is from Natalie Pillinger. We’re looking for your stories, so please contribute to Letters from Cardiff in lockdown!

I’m writing this on 22 April, 2020. I’ve been working from home since the 18 March, 2020. It’s day 35 for me and my three sons in lockdown.

A little bit of background; I’m the lone parent of three sons; Taylor (19), Jack (17) and Cale (13), affectionately known as my teen aliens. I manage JETS, Reach, Community benefits and targeted recruitment and training.

Reflecting on the early days of lockdown – day seven was the hardest for me. The office was still open and people were still going about their daily lives, but I felt really isolated. I felt overwhelmed and worried. I was out of the loop, my routine had all but disappeared and the pandemic was triggering so many of my anxieties.

What would happen to my children if I was taken ill? What would I do if they are taken ill and I couldn’t see them? Social media was reporting terrible things, supermarkets were empty, people were panic buying, my stocks were running low and I couldn’t go out, my brother has a congenital heart defect, was he going to die? I wanted to run away and hide. To top it all off I had no alcohol, paracetamol or toilet roll.

Irrational thoughts and feelings started to gain control, negative thoughts and feelings. What was I going to do? How could I fix it?

When things at home are hard I anchor myself in work, and vice versa. But both of these places were becoming difficult to manage. Nothing felt safe or secure, and I wasn’t in control.

I went to bed on Tuesday 24 March after having had a very ‘ugly’ cry (you know the kind I mean) to my cousin on the phone. I did some breathing techniques, and revisited some of my coping strategies. I woke up on Wednesday 25 March and decided to make a plan of action. I booked three days of annual leave, and decided to get the house sorted.

I felt that that was one thing I could control, and it would have a positive effect on me and my boys. This was by far the best decision I made in the early lockdown.

I had already set up a self-isolation WhatsApp group with my friends and family (there’s now 20+ of us on there!) and they have been (and continue to be) my life-line.

We have pulled each other along, organised quizzes, we had a DJ set from one of the girls. We talk about everything and anything, nothing is held back. It’s raw, funny, brilliant and there’s always someone to talk to. We have laughed together, and we have cried together. I felt and still feel very lucky to have these wonderful women in my life. I’m talking to my friends and family more than ever and I love it.

My son Taylor (the oldest) is a keyworker, so is pretty much self-isolating when he’s home. He’s just started to study for a new career, and is very determined. He has dyslexia, so this is not easy for him. Having to drive him to work at the moment is actually useful, as it  means I can deliver essentials to my parents as well. I get to see them in person (from a safe distance!) at the end of their drive – this is good for us all. I feel for the people who can’t do this.

My other son Jack is studying mechanical engineering at college. He was worried about not passing because of the pandemic, but he’s  now studying and completing assignments to ensure he stays on track, which is amazing! He’s also dismantled my rotten shed and chopped it into firewood and is helping me out more than ever before around the house. I feel that he’s adapting really well. We now have a lovely back garden to sit in and enjoy. It’s a lovely sun trap, which was previously taken up by something ugly. It’s really lovely to lay back in the sunshine.

My youngest son Cale struggled and needed us to set him a new routine at home. He now has a plan, for meals, exercising, school work, and free time. He is cooking – even making bread from scratch! He pretty much follows any recipe I put in front of him – he wants to be a chef (has since he was about six) so he’s able to have the time to learn and practice these skills. We are enjoying talking to each other and learning new things together, and having a safe fire pit and chopping wood in the garden helps. He’s missing rugby training and his friends. He has control over his new routine, in terms of timings, he needs the flexibility too. I bought him a basketball net and he walks the dog everyday. We’re so lucky to have great countryside right by where we live.

We are sitting down together to eat meals now. I didn’t realise I was missing it until we started doing it again.

I now feel like we’ve got the hang of the lockdown. We have created lists of projects and tasks to complete around the home; for all of us to do when we need to occupy our time and distract ourselves.

I plan our meals and snacks, because the food bill has skyrocketed. I’ve found local suppliers for deliveries; milk and eggs, butchers, fruit and veg. How on earth I would afford wine to get me through was one concern, although it didn’t take too long to sort that out!

In terms of work, it’s been tough. My team were feeling a little frustrated, as things were changing quickly, there was so many communications coming from lots of different angles; emails, chats and phone calls. I listened to the team, we problem-solved, and we came up with a plan of action to continue delivering the support projects offer to tenants and the wider community.

We had clarification from our funders that funding would continue, which was brilliant and alleviated some concerns about jobs being secure. We talked about fun things to do and had after work drinks together wearing improvised masks.

I speak to everyone from work daily – face to face, over the phone, on WhatsApp. It’s not always work related, sometimes just to check in on people. Some are coping, some aren’t, but that’s OK – we are all all different and have different pressures. We’re united and we are supporting each other.

Working from home has meant we connect more online. We are also able to focus and communicate better away from the office distractions and interruptions. It’s less formal. I like it, but I really miss their faces and the chats we have in person!

I don’t miss sitting next to the photocopier, but I do miss my interactions with others in the office, we all do in some way or another.

Thinking about the future, I’m reflecting and considering it. What do I want to do? What can I do to make it happen? How will our ‘new normal’ look for everyone? What will my personal ‘new norm’ look like?

One thing is for sure, now is the time to make some decisions and plans personally, and professionally.

So, on day 35 I’m sat here having drunk far too much cider last night; I feel settled, I’m happy and I’m safe and I’m loved. I have a lovely warm cup of tea, I have the music on, my boys are around making noise, the back door is open, the breeze is lovely and the sunshine is beautiful too.

I’m feel optimistic, I am happy in my own skin, more than ever before and I know what works for me won’t work for everyone else.

At the end of the day I can only control my reactions, my life, I can’t ‘get’ others to do things the same way, but I can share, open up and empathise.

We all have things in common, we are, after all human beings, we are all in this together; we all have a chance to reshape, reflect, pause, consider, and create our own unique ‘new norm’.

From me to you

Nat
x

Want to write for Letters from Cardiff in lockdown? Find out how here…

See also:

• CARDIFF COVID-19 INFO – INDEX
• CARDIFF VOLUNTEERING AND HELP RESOURCES
• CARDIFF’S INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES – OPEN FOR FOOD AND ESSENTIAL ITEM DELIVERIES AND TAKEAWAYS
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: BUY THEM DINNER!
• SUPPORT CARDIFF’S NHS / FRONTLINE STAFF: DONATE YOUR MONEYS AND DONATE SUPPLIES!
• LOOKING AFTER YOUR MIND IN LOCKDOWN

***

• Sign up for the weekly We Are Cardiff newsletter
• Like the We Are Cardiff Facebook page
• Squawk @ us on Twitter @wearecardiff
• Follow us on Instagram @WeAreCardiff
• Follow our rescue dog adventure Instagram/ZeldaPooch